Art Video

Below is a video from vimeo produced by Petros Vrellis. It's a visualization of Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night."

Starry Night (interactive animation) from Petros Vrellis on Vimeo.

Stumbling Into Art

Isn't it amazing - the sheer scope of what you can run across on the web? I have a strong interest in art but no formal background - though some informal practice with writing poetry (I woke up from a nightmare and started spontaneously writing poetry.) I started writing poetry about three years ago. My first poem was written as though I were taking dictation from some unknown voice. It certainly wasn't anything like my "normal"' voice but I decided to go with the flow and write the words down. Here's my first poem (about drowning in a sea of whys):

 Why?

 I swim in a sea of whys;
It envelopes me and holds me hostage
Permeates my body and soul;
Tries to keep me in bondage
Why me? Why her?
Why this? Why that?
Why life? Why death?
Why?

The question at the core;
The one with no answer;
The one that breaks the heart;
It feels like a cancer.
I open my eyes in the dark;
Determined not to drown;
I try not to struggle,
Just to hold my ground.
Quiet the tears;
Breathe away the shivers;
Accept the fears,
Live with the quivers.
No answers, but many choices;
To live or to die;
To laugh, to cry;
To reach out, to pull in
Or to try, simply try.
I choose to float; That is my dream;
No matter the questions,
 I try not to scream.
Just to let go, to give in
To surrender
To seek blessed peace,
To ask no more questions.

I don't spend as much time writing poetry as I used to because I've developed a greater interest in the visual arts. Working on my drawing and painting skills. No doubt, my development in that area will be long and drawn out but also I think, wonderful!!

Dedication to Team in Training

I was so inspired by training with the Silicon Valley Fall 2012 triathlon team that I wrote a poem, "Triathlon" and turned it into a video.  Here it is:

Catching Up -- Mighty Mermaid

For anyone reading this blog, sincere apologies for allowing it to lapse so miserably.  The Mighty Mermaid Sprint triathlon was October 6, 2012 and was one of the most inspirational experiences I've had!  Team in Training is not only dedicated to producing a win/win experience for all involved parties, it is a type of home for some very special human beings!!  Below are some of my favorite photos from tri practice and actual triathlons!

Training Update

     I haven't posted to my blog in quite a while.  A lot of training has gone on.  I've done four/maybe five open water swim practices.  My freestyle stroke in the pool has improved and it would be nice to incorporate a lot of that into open water....hopefully that will happen!  I'd like it to!
     There is zero question about my completing the Mighty Mermaid triathlon.  That is a commitment I will fulfill.  It may be less than pretty but it will happen!
     Here are some photos taken during training practice:

                                           After first open water practice swim

                                          Practice open water Pacific Grove

                                          Pacific Grove swim practice

                                           Practice triathlon

Call Me Maybe?

So, how much fun is it to be part of the U.S. Olympic swim team?  Must be a lot of fun from the looks of the video they produced.  It features the entire team!

Permission

I haven't posted anything for a while as I've been navigating through my own murky waters.  I'm doing a sprint triathlon on October 6, 2012 with Team in Training.  It's a goal I set for myself to step out of standing still.  Last winter, I actually got to the point of not exercising at all.  For me, this amounts to a fairly high level of depression.  Yes, ski season was lousy.  Yes, I was overly dependent on my ski coach (no it wasn't anything beyond that and if you think otherwise, you either have no idea who I am or you are simply an idiot).  But this wasn't about weather or anyone other than myself.  It was about me, having PD and how I live my life!

Regardless of PD and its changes in my life, I am and have always been a fundamentally strong woman
trying to find the best path at any given moment.  Sometimes I forget that or I let the "PD/negative" voice have its way.

I am not totally comfortable swimming, less so in the ocean.  That's actually the point of doing the triathlon - to face the fear, become more comfortable, a much better swimmer, get out with people, make friends, MOVE and smile because life is so good!  It really is when you shut off the voice that says "no, can't, not good enough."  I am plenty good enough and there are so many people reaching out to help me!  For this I am full of gratitude!

I got through the first open water swim at Coyote Point less than elegantly.....but more than good enough to feel very happy about.  The second one at Cowell Beach in Santa Cruz was harder.  I learned the tide picks you up off your feet and puts you down.  But I spent too much time swimming on my back and had a horrible time sighting the buoys.  Got around the first one ok and then kept going in the wrong direction.....which led to the PD voice screaming louder and louder "you can't do it."  In fact, I had more than covered my distance.  Mentally, I broke down.

However, I have taken that experience and learned from it!  I now have optical goggles, a strategy for sighting and a feeling of certainty about my ability to do it!

I stumbled across a video this morning that really clicked with me.  It's a TED talk by Heidi Boynton, a cancer survivor and, coincidentally, the coach for Team Mermaid.   This is a talk about "Permission."  She talks about what she has learned being ill and it's focused on what happens when we give ourselves permission to fully love ourselves with all of our fraities, mistakes, weaknesses....in the full glory and acknowledgement of who we are.  When we are able to do that, we are then able to extend that feeling beyond ourselves to others.

Below, one of the best talks I have listened to - Heidi Boynton: