Art Video

Below is a video from vimeo produced by Petros Vrellis. It's a visualization of Vincent Van Gogh's "Starry Night."

Starry Night (interactive animation) from Petros Vrellis on Vimeo.

Stumbling Into Art

Isn't it amazing - the sheer scope of what you can run across on the web? I have a strong interest in art but no formal background - though some informal practice with writing poetry (I woke up from a nightmare and started spontaneously writing poetry.) I started writing poetry about three years ago. My first poem was written as though I were taking dictation from some unknown voice. It certainly wasn't anything like my "normal"' voice but I decided to go with the flow and write the words down. Here's my first poem (about drowning in a sea of whys):

 Why?

 I swim in a sea of whys;
It envelopes me and holds me hostage
Permeates my body and soul;
Tries to keep me in bondage
Why me? Why her?
Why this? Why that?
Why life? Why death?
Why?

The question at the core;
The one with no answer;
The one that breaks the heart;
It feels like a cancer.
I open my eyes in the dark;
Determined not to drown;
I try not to struggle,
Just to hold my ground.
Quiet the tears;
Breathe away the shivers;
Accept the fears,
Live with the quivers.
No answers, but many choices;
To live or to die;
To laugh, to cry;
To reach out, to pull in
Or to try, simply try.
I choose to float; That is my dream;
No matter the questions,
 I try not to scream.
Just to let go, to give in
To surrender
To seek blessed peace,
To ask no more questions.

I don't spend as much time writing poetry as I used to because I've developed a greater interest in the visual arts. Working on my drawing and painting skills. No doubt, my development in that area will be long and drawn out but also I think, wonderful!!

Dedication to Team in Training

I was so inspired by training with the Silicon Valley Fall 2012 triathlon team that I wrote a poem, "Triathlon" and turned it into a video.  Here it is:

Catching Up -- Mighty Mermaid

For anyone reading this blog, sincere apologies for allowing it to lapse so miserably.  The Mighty Mermaid Sprint triathlon was October 6, 2012 and was one of the most inspirational experiences I've had!  Team in Training is not only dedicated to producing a win/win experience for all involved parties, it is a type of home for some very special human beings!!  Below are some of my favorite photos from tri practice and actual triathlons!

Training Update

     I haven't posted to my blog in quite a while.  A lot of training has gone on.  I've done four/maybe five open water swim practices.  My freestyle stroke in the pool has improved and it would be nice to incorporate a lot of that into open water....hopefully that will happen!  I'd like it to!
     There is zero question about my completing the Mighty Mermaid triathlon.  That is a commitment I will fulfill.  It may be less than pretty but it will happen!
     Here are some photos taken during training practice:

                                           After first open water practice swim

                                          Practice open water Pacific Grove

                                          Pacific Grove swim practice

                                           Practice triathlon

Call Me Maybe?

So, how much fun is it to be part of the U.S. Olympic swim team?  Must be a lot of fun from the looks of the video they produced.  It features the entire team!

Permission

I haven't posted anything for a while as I've been navigating through my own murky waters.  I'm doing a sprint triathlon on October 6, 2012 with Team in Training.  It's a goal I set for myself to step out of standing still.  Last winter, I actually got to the point of not exercising at all.  For me, this amounts to a fairly high level of depression.  Yes, ski season was lousy.  Yes, I was overly dependent on my ski coach (no it wasn't anything beyond that and if you think otherwise, you either have no idea who I am or you are simply an idiot).  But this wasn't about weather or anyone other than myself.  It was about me, having PD and how I live my life!

Regardless of PD and its changes in my life, I am and have always been a fundamentally strong woman
trying to find the best path at any given moment.  Sometimes I forget that or I let the "PD/negative" voice have its way.

I am not totally comfortable swimming, less so in the ocean.  That's actually the point of doing the triathlon - to face the fear, become more comfortable, a much better swimmer, get out with people, make friends, MOVE and smile because life is so good!  It really is when you shut off the voice that says "no, can't, not good enough."  I am plenty good enough and there are so many people reaching out to help me!  For this I am full of gratitude!

I got through the first open water swim at Coyote Point less than elegantly.....but more than good enough to feel very happy about.  The second one at Cowell Beach in Santa Cruz was harder.  I learned the tide picks you up off your feet and puts you down.  But I spent too much time swimming on my back and had a horrible time sighting the buoys.  Got around the first one ok and then kept going in the wrong direction.....which led to the PD voice screaming louder and louder "you can't do it."  In fact, I had more than covered my distance.  Mentally, I broke down.

However, I have taken that experience and learned from it!  I now have optical goggles, a strategy for sighting and a feeling of certainty about my ability to do it!

I stumbled across a video this morning that really clicked with me.  It's a TED talk by Heidi Boynton, a cancer survivor and, coincidentally, the coach for Team Mermaid.   This is a talk about "Permission."  She talks about what she has learned being ill and it's focused on what happens when we give ourselves permission to fully love ourselves with all of our fraities, mistakes, weaknesses....in the full glory and acknowledgement of who we are.  When we are able to do that, we are then able to extend that feeling beyond ourselves to others.

Below, one of the best talks I have listened to - Heidi Boynton:

The Santa Clara Swim Club

This morning at 7AM I met a physical therapist with the aim of working on some of the difficulties that are keeping me from swimming with the proper form.  I actually hoped for much more beyond that,  a PT who could assist me with the ongoing challenges in my body/mind presented by Parkinson's Disease.  In Dr. GJ Mullen, the strength coach of the Santa Clara Swim Club (SCSC), I believe I may have found that and perhaps more.....a shining example of his employer (SCSC).

SCSC is a world renowned swim club and the masters dues to swim there are not trivial (at least to me).
The masters' coach, John Schaeffer, is clearly dedicated to helping the people swimming in his programs.  In spite of the numerous people swimming, he connects with each one to the degree feasible and you feel his drive for excellence (though there are days you'd like to feel it less).

How did I come to be connected with SCSC and its masters program?  Through sheer luck, Team in Training made an arrangement to use their pool facilities for our triathlon training.  I needed extra help based on my state of swimming knowledge/ability.  Our TNT assistant coach, Kevin Guthrie mentioned that according to the agreement with SCSC, for the  $50 for the season (about 4 months) that I had paid, I could also join a beginning masters group with SCSC.  Because of the frequency with which I would swim with them, I had to join the Pacific Masters Swim organization for an extra $50.
I never questioned whether this was worthwhile or not.  Unquestionably, it seemed so to me.
However, meeting Dr. Mullen this morning, reading SCSC's mission statement and some of its beliefs up on the wall of the weight room, I started to understand what I had stumbled onto.

This is an organization that has been incredibly successful at training Olympic medal winners.  But, so far beyond that, they take pride in ALL of the people who pass through their programs that they strive to help.  Their motto is "We dream, we train, we achieve."  Nice words...but what stands behind them?
What stands behind them is a set of values that stand beautifully on their own, a clear commitment to the development of not just great swimmers but great PEOPLE and their obvious sense of pride in their achievements.  What a place this is!

Here is their mission statement:

WE DREAM   _*   WE TRAIN   _*   WE ACHIEVE

Vision:
We are committed to becoming a world-class swimming organization.
 

Mission: 
Our mission is to pursue excellence through the sport of swimming.

Our Guiding Principles:
Santa Clara Swim Club has been developing champions since its founding by George Haines in 1951.  His vision to develop world-class individuals through the sport of swimming remains the cornerstone of our program.

In keeping with Haines philosophy, our coaches and swimmers identify themselves as both educators and students with the pool as their classroom.  Our quest is to ignite the potential in each of our athletes by embracing the values embodied in the Olympic charter.

• The pursuit of personal excellence
• Harmony between mind and body
• Joy found in effort
• Health and Fitness
• Respect for others
• Ethical conduct
• Fair play

Carrying forth this tradition of excellence, SCSC offers our community a full service swimming program designed to meet the needs of every member.

Fear of Freestyle and Training

Let's talk about cycling along, enjoying the scenery and the ride.  The legs are rhythmically going in circles.  The world is a lovely place.  Even jogging along after that was reasonably relaxed.....slow but who was concerned?  Not me!  And then there was the filming of my freestyle stroke in water above my head.  Had set the alarm for 7AM.  Luckily, Henry woke me at 8AM and I sloshed on the sunscreen, threw down 2 nutrition bars, had several sips of gatorade and water and completely forgot my medicine.  It was not a pretty sight!  I can't honestly say I'm looking forward to seeing the video!
Felt some moments of panic related to breathing.  Also, had slowed down my stroke and actually had some of my most effective breaths.

So......wrote to Melon Dash (Conquer Fear) for advice.  She provided some ("with you," she said.....that about describes her!).  Shared emails with TNT coaches.  They are a really neat group of people (as is the Tri team!).  I can see why these coaches are so well thought of though.  Genuine and caring people.

Anyway, as part of laughing at myself, here is a video of the final scene in the move,
"The Natural."

and here, the wonderful inspiring video (again)

of Arthur,

"Never, Ever Give Up!"

Gossip

The following is an excerpt from Wikipedia on the subject of gossip.

Gossip is idle talk or rumour about the personal or private affairs of others. It is one of the oldest and most common means of sharing facts, views and slander. This term is used pejoratively by its reputation for the introduction of errors and variations into the information transmitted, and it also describes idle chat, a rumor of personal, or trivial nature.

Gossip has been researched in terms of its evolutionary psychology origins. This has found gossip to be an important means by which people can monitor cooperative reputations and so maintain widespread indirect reciprocity. Indirect reciprocity is defined here as "I help you and somebody else helps me." Gossip has also been identified by Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary biologist, as aiding social bonding in large groups. With the advent of the internet gossip is now widespread on an instant basis, from one place in the world to another what used to take a long time to filter through is now instant.

The term is sometimes used to specifically refer to the spreading of dirt and misinformation, as (for example) through excited discussion of scandals. Some newspapers carry "gossip columns" which detail the social and personal lives of celebrities or of élite members of certain communities.

Some see gossip as trivial, hurtful and socially and/or intellectually unproductive. Some people view gossip as a lighthearted way of spreading information.

In Judaism

Main article: Lashon hara

Judaism considers gossip spoken without a constructive purpose (known in Hebrew as an evil tongue, lashon hara) as a sin. Speaking negatively about people, even if retelling true facts, counts as sinful, as it demeans the dignity of man — both the speaker and the subject of the gossip.

In Islam

Islam considers backbiting the equivalent of eating the flesh of one's dead brother. According to Muslims, backbiting harms its victims without offering them any chance of defense, just as dead people cannot defend against their flesh being eaten. Muslims are expected to treat each other like brothers, deriving from Islam's concept of brotherhood amongst its believers.

In Christianity

According to Matthew 18, Jesus also taught that conflict resolution among church members ought to begin with the aggrieved party attempting to resolve their dispute with the offending party alone. Only if this did not work would the process escalate to the next step, in which another church member would become involved. After that if the person at fault still would not "hear", the matter was to be fully investigated by the church elders, but not exposed publicly.

In order to gossip, writes Phil Fox Rose, we "must harden our heart towards the 'out' person. We draw a line between ourselves and them; define them as being outside the rules of Christian charity... We create a gap between ourselves and God's Love." As we harden our heart towards more people and groups, he continues, "this negativity and feeling of separateness will grow and permeate our world, and we'll find it more difficult to access God’s love in any aspect of our lives."

My personal view is that gossip is always harmful and shows no respect or care for the person who is the subject of the gossip.

[edit]

Why We Do What We Do......

YouTube is an amazing source of information, entertainment, etc.  Within the last couple of years, one of the best resources I've discovered on the web for really well made videos about topics of incredible interest has been the TED talks.

Per Wikipedia:

TED (Technology, Entertainment and Design) is a global set of conferences owned by the private non-profit Sapling Foundation, formed to disseminate "ideas worth spreading."

TED was founded in 1984 as a one-off event. The annual conference began in 1990, in Monterey, California. TED's early emphasis was technology and design, consistent with its origins in the Silicon Valley. The events are now held in Long Beach and Palm Springs in the U.S. and in Europe and Asia, offering live streaming of the talks. They address an increasingly wide range of topics within the research and practice of science and culture. The speakers are given a maximum of 18 minutes to present their ideas in the most innovative and engaging ways they can. Past presenters include Bill Clinton, Jane Goodall, Malcolm Gladwell, Al Gore, Gordon Brown, Richard Dawkins, Bill Gates, educatorSalman Khan, Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin, and many Nobel Prize winners. TED's current curator is the British former computer journalist and magazine publisher Chris Anderson.

From 2005 to 2009, three $100,000 TED Prizes were awarded annually to help its winners realize a chosen wish to change the world. From 2010, in a changed selection process, a single winner is chosen to ensure that TED can maximize its efforts in achieving the winner's wish. Each winner unveils their wish at the main annual conference.

Since June 2006, the talks have been offered for free viewing online, under Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs Creative Commons license, through TED.com. As of November 2011, over 1,050 talks are available free online. By January 2009 they had been viewed 50 million times. In June 2011, the viewing figure stood at more than 500 million, reflecting a still growing global audience.

While searching through the list of TED talks on YouTube, I found the following video of a talk by Tony Robbins on "Why We Do What We Do and How We Can Do It Better."  Personally, the focus of the talk for me is about much more than that.....what drives us?  Yes, he gives us his view and it clicks for me.  But, beyond that, what is it that fulfills our lives?  Is it amassing material objects?  Earning personal fame and recognition?  He says what really fulfills us is giving to others; recognizing that I is partial and that each of our worlds is happiest when we recognize the "we" that we belong to --

the we of humankind, when we reach out to give of ourselves to other people.

It is approximately 25 minutes long but well worth watching (IMHO).  Below, Tony Robbins delivering a remarkable TED talk:

Canadian Teen Address to the UN on Environment

I'm not sure how I came across this 2008 upload to You Tube.  It's an address to the United Nations in 1992 by a thirteen year old Canadian girl, Severn Suzuki (the daughter of a well-known Canadian scientist).  When she was 9, Severn started the Environmental Children's Organization (ECO), a small group of children committed to learning and teaching other kids about environmental issues. They were successful in many projects before 1992, when they raised enough money to go to the UN's Earth Summit in Rio de Janeiro. Their aim was to remind the decision-makers of who their actions or inactions would ultimately affect.

Silence at Noon

Below is an excerpt from another blog - "musing by moonlight" written by Jamie Dedes.

Deep in the sun-searched growth the dragon-fly

Hangs like a blue thread loosened from the sky ~

So this wing’d hour is dropt to us from above.

Dante Gabriel Rossetti, Silent Noon

The days are filled with noise and moods

but silence lies here at noon

like stillness between heartbeats

and the Ever speaks

through dragonflies breathing vineyards

and a million bees humming the same tune

Caravans of monks and nuns

leave messages in dead languages

and encrypted ritual

as they walk their pathways across bridges

know for their span and silver beauty

Like a revered teacher’s stupa

or a gothic Cathedral

those bridges spin toward heaven

stop short

and trip to the other side

Nothing changes

The same whispered stories

fill your rattling lungs with grief

The only truth is in the silence at noon

doing duty as shawl, shield, and salvation

·

© 2012, poem, Jamie Dedes, All rights reserved

Photograph ~ Arcana Dea, Public Domain Pictures.net

POSTED ON MAY 31, 2012 BY JAMIE DEDES

Swimming, Poetry, etc.

I have swim practice on Monday, Wednesday and Friday with the beginning group of the Master's program (thanks to TNT's arrangement with Santa Clara Swim Club).  Wow, I am an incredibly lousy freestyle swimmer (still).  All I can say is perhaps with hundreds of hours of practice, I'll improve!  Today I put in approximately 1 1/2 hours.  I did learn breast stroke today and that went much, much better.  To give you an idea of how much help my front crawl needs, I think I am much faster at the breast stroke (not to mention relaxed).

Every day involves tending the garden!  Love doing that!  Annual dahlias from last year decided to re-sprout and are doing great!  For some reason, taking care of the garden seems so meditative to me!

Also, wrote a poem today.  Here it is:

Mother Crow

Caw, sang the black bird

circling above.

I did not recognize the melody

in her drawn out screech.

Was it a song of love,

a worried cry for a child

new to flight,

the sound of a mother

helplessly watching

the struggle of wings

learning to flap.

I listened.

She, the animal,

I, the human,

both of us alive.

The Power of Dance

To dance is one way to set the spirit free to fly.  At its best, it can feel like joy is pouring through your body!  And it carries a lot of power, potentially the power to heal to some degree, perhaps to break down internal barriers and share the joy within.  Certainly, it can be a casting away of anchors and chains, the pause of weighted breath, a kiss set free, if only for a moment of time.  Below, some of my favorite dance videos from YouTube:

Parkinson's Disease: Celebration of Movement

Kate Jablonsky Choreography Reel (Beyond Words Dance Company):

A tribute to Mia Michaels, award winning choreographer: