Skiing, the Prayer

   I spent an interesting few days in Tahoe this past week.  Drove up Tuesday AM, arrived later than desired to Sugar Bowl but felt pretty good once I finally got on the snow.  I decided to accept my own challenge and try some steeper runs.  Got on one, looking over the edge, saying to myself, "Whoops!  Is this one ungroomed?  Looks steeper from this angle."  Followed by..."You know you can do this!  You know you have the skills!"  And then I proved to myself that I did!  So, I went on from there to my current nemesis, Donner's Way, an entry level black at Sugar Bowl.  My goal is to become comfortable on that run.  I know I can do the run...but I want to do it eventually on my terms (i.e. beautifully graceful linked turns).  Tuesday, I made progress toward that goal and realized I didn't have to be afraid of it...that it was a matter of practice, of allowing the skills I already have in large part to be applied, to blossom in this steeper setting.

    I guess certain people ski for the adrenalin rush.  I'm not one of them.  I ski to attempt to dance with the mountain.  It can be an act of indescribable beauty, feeling as though you are controlling your fall into the arms of a loving, welcoming world.  It s beyond the ordinary....difficult to describe but almost like a prayer in which the mountain, sky, air, snow, trees, gravity, all of nature form a cathedral and you are the tiniest atom harmonizing in a beautiful dance of trust, motion, self-belief!

  Had to leave to go for a boot appointment--to get my left boot canted 0.5 degrees (SO much easier to get the left ski on edge now--wow!).

   On Wednesday, skied a total of 4 runs at Squaw(Mountain Run twice).  Skied the first run and who should I run into---Chrystal (in her lesson).  She and I were meeting another Parkinson's princess for lunch at the base, Alice.  So, 3 Squaw instructors ended up joining us for lunch (that was really nice of them!)  Got a chance to finally meet and speak with Alice (who's out for the winter from Georgia).  I wonder if Dr. Brandabur, who is responsible for setting up the initial PDP (Parkinson's Diva Princesses) understands just how much help she has provided by helping us connect with each other.  Alice & I are meeting up at Northstar week after next.  But beyond that, in her and Chrystal, I believe I have connected with 2 other women who definitely understand what PD is like--this is enormously valuable to me (particularly as I feel pretty disconnected from my non-PD friends these days).

  With all of that, you wouldn't think I'd  have a chance to go into a downward spiral, but I did.  I can't bring Carmen, the wonder-love dog with me because she's getting too old to cope with outdoor steps (Henry insists on not stressing her..and I agree).  So, when those "child abandonment "issues kick in and I feel the world is an unwelcoming place, there is no Carmen to hug the evil spirits away!  As a 2 year old, I learned the world and its events are unexplainable/potentially chaotic at the drop of a hat, beyond your control. You can be turned upside down on your head and you are fundamentally alone in the world.  Perhaps when I'm 85, I'll learn how to better adjust.  In the meantime, I try hard not to bother people who don't want to be bothered and often fail----which makes me feel even better and more worthwhile.

   Luckily, I then go home to my loving husband and dog and feel restored to something approaching a more normal state.  Thank God for the gift of them.

Below, an awesome ski video: