When you become ill with a serious disease, you begin to focus in more and more on each moment, what seems truly important in life and how you choose to live.
For myself, I try to choose the path of self-sustenance. By that I mean, I try to be as positive as I can, to move as forward as possible, to find the best path through life.
One example is my choice to ski. I ski, not mainly for sensual pleasure but for the sense of fulfillment it provides (a sense of gratitude for simply being alive, for bring a small part of an immensely beautiful universe). There is a type of spiritual connection for me in skiing. In addition to that, any form of exercise is very good for my health, but something I love to do is even better.
On a larger scale, I try to be conscious of how I am treating people in my day to day interactions with them. I try to choose the path of kindness. Often, I'm not conscious enough to be successful (especially if a situation is charged for me). Nevertheless, I keep trying in all cases.
A simple smile can be like a light in the darkness. I remember having an elderly woman go way out of her way to help me find things in the Truckee Safeway one day. I didn't really need her assistance but I was struck by her intention to be kind and helpful.
There is a different path I think we all find ourselves on at times.......the path of judgment. I think it relates to fear somehow......perhaps a fear of behavior one doesn't understand or relate to, a fear of open expression as if one were asking to be bashed in the head. I wonder what it would feel like to walk a mile in the shoes of the person being judged. If we can actually put ourselves in the shoes of that person, it might be eye-opening.
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